


Two Men and Baby

by Pooky1234



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2012-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 04:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pooky1234/pseuds/Pooky1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written for reel_Torchwood on livejournal. The story is based on the film Bringing Up Baby. All Ianto Jones wants to do is finish his dinosaur and marry Lisa then he meets Jack Harkness and his world is turned upsidedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Dr Ianto Jones sat on the scaffolding looking at his prize possession. Most of the skeleton of the pteranodon longiceps was hanging from the ceiling in front of him, except for the missing crest bone. The skeleton looked strangely bereft without it. All around were other skeletons of dinosaurs, mostly smaller examples, as the Museum of Wales had never been able to afford the largest of the extinct reptiles. This was his world, collecting specimens and giving talks for visitors. He loved to talk to the children who always knew more than the adults. They were just as fascinated as he had been as a child; somehow he’d never grown out of it. 

On the floor his assistant, Lisa Hallet, busied herself sorting through a collection of bones they’d received that week. They were supposed to be parts of a velociraptor, the sort of dinosaur made popular by ‘Jurassic Park’. Ianto had the largest of the bones in front of him and he examined it carefully.

‘Do you know, Lisa, I think this one must belong in the tail.’ He was dressed in his usual suit, covered by brown overalls. On his nose, precariously perched, were his glasses. He’d lost several pairs simply leaning over from this height. 

‘Nonsense, Ianto, you tried it in the tail yesterday and it didn’t fit.’ Lisa was all business, dressed in a fitting black skirt suit. It was she who really kept the department organised and functioning; Ianto Jones was inclined to dream. He liked to look at his prizes and imagine them roaming free. Even ‘Jurassic Park’ hadn’t put him off that idea. What he really dreamed of was getting space for a T Rex, not to mention the funding to buy one. It would cost a fortune but Ianto knew that Gwen Williams had a fortune, inherited from her parents, who had created Torchwood International. All he had to do was persuade some hot shot trust lawyer that spending a million pounds on some old set of bones was a good idea!

One of the porters strolled in and handed Lisa a piece of paper. ‘Ianto!’ she cried, looking up. ‘It’s an e-mail from Utah! They think they’ve found your crest bone! Isn’t that wonderful? You’ll finally have Myfanwy intact!’

‘What?’ he said as he clambered down. ‘Show me!’

‘They say it’ll be delivered tomorrow. Isn’t it exciting? Oh Ianto, you must be thrilled!’

‘I am, after so many years of looking! You know how rare these things are.’ Ianto was so excited he grabbed Lisa and kissed her. 

‘Ianto, stop it! There are people about! Now isn’t the time! There’s a time and a place for everything.’ She looked at him sternly. 

‘But, Lisa, we’re getting married tomorrow! Now isn’t that a strange coincidence? Two such important things happening on the same day! We’re going to have such a celebration when we go away!’

‘What do you mean, go away?’ Lisa replied. ‘We’ve got far too much to do here. You’ve got the pteranodon to finish and there are the velociraptor bones to sort. As soon as the wedding is over, we’ll be coming back here. Nothing must interfere with your work. Our marriage mustn’t involve any domestic entanglements at all. You cannot afford to be distracted; what with the funding bid, it’s too important.’

Ianto looked over his glasses. ‘Does that mean..’ She stopped him.

‘I mean everything, Ianto.’

‘Ah, but, Lisa, I was hoping that… You mean no children and everything?’ He almost pouted.

‘Exactly,’ Lisa said, spreading her arms wide. ‘This will be our child. Yes, Ianto, I see our marriage purely as a dedication to our work.’

Now Ianto was annoyed. ‘Come on, Lisa. Everyone should have a honeymoon.’

She shook her head. ‘We haven’t time for such a thing. Oh, and isn’t your meeting with Mr Sato in an hour? You need to get ready. We need that funding, Ianto.’

‘What funding?’ he asked, absent-mindedly. 

‘Oh, Ianto, what would you do if I wasn’t here to organise you? I swear your head is like your beloved pteranodon, always in the clouds. Mr Sato is the lawyer who represents the Harkness Foundation. Remember they’re going to give us the money for the T Rex, if you persuade them.’

‘Oh yes, the T Rex, of course.’ He put his hands on her arms. ‘Thank you, darling. You’re right of course. I couldn’t survive without you. Now, where are we meeting again?’

‘The golf course at Celtic Manor and, Ianto, you need to wow him.’

‘Oh I can do that. I know I’m not much of a talker but I know everything about these creatures and I’m sure like every little boy he’d have loved them too. I will be bloody awesome!’

‘Now Ianto, watch your language! You know how formal some lawyers are.’ 

He ran to the door. ‘I’ll be amazing! After the news about the crest, I’m on top form! I’ll get the money I promise, dearest. It’ll make a great wedding present!’

‘Don’t forget to let Mr Sato win,’ she shouted. 

Ianto knew he wasn’t very good really. ‘I don’t think that’ll be a problem, my angel.’

An hour later Ianto sat in the clubhouse bar waiting for Mr Sato to arrive. He’d dressed appropriately and had swallowed down a swift whisky to steady his nerves. He wasn’t good with strangers, so this pitching for funding was a bit of an ordeal for him. He watched as a Japanese woman swept into the room, her caddy in tow. She walked up to him.

‘You must be Dr Jones.’ She held out a hand. ‘I’m Toshiko Sato.’ 

He jumped up from his stool. ‘But you’re a woman,’ he said, before he could stop himself.

‘Very observant of you, Dr Jones. You have an eye for detail. I hope your golf game is as good. What do you play off? I play off six usually.’ Ianto had no real idea what she was talking about. He’d hardly played any golf before.

‘Oh I’m just average,’ he said, hoping that would be enough. 

Just watching the lawyer tee off at the first frightened him. She really seemed to know that she was doing. Still, he had a job to do and he didn’t make a bad effort, he just hooked it a bit.

‘I really can’t tell you just how important this endowment to the museum would be. We’d really like to put the museum on the dinosaur map. It would mean so much to me personally. I hope we can depend on your support.’

‘Dr Jones, you seem to think it’s my decision how the funds from the Torchwood Trust are used. I only advise the family, although I need to ensure that the money is being spent wisely. Only Mrs Williams can make the final decision and as you know, she has her own interests.’ Ianto went to speak again but she held up her hand as she lined up her second shot to the green. ‘Dr Jones,’ she said impatiently. ‘When I play golf I only talk between shots and then only about golf!’

‘Oh yes, sorry. I didn’t mean to put you off your stroke.’

‘We could continue this discussion at the nineteenth over a whisky and, as you hooked your shot, you’d better go and find your ball. It looked to me as if it went over to the 18th fairway.’

‘Oh dear, yes,’ Ianto said. When they got to the spot Ianto noticed a man lining up his ball. The man was tall, dark and unusually dressed for golf, as he was wearing a RAF greatcoat over his blue trousers and shirt. Even more unusually, he seemed to be wearing red braces. As Ianto approached the man smiled what the palaeontologist had to admit was a dazzling smile.

‘Hey, stop that,’ Ianto shouted. ‘That’s my ball.’ But the man had hit it before he could stop him.

‘You shouldn’t do that you know, talk while I’m hitting the ball. You could have put me off my stroke. But then usually nothing puts me off my stroke.’ Ianto felt like he was being slowly undressed as the man looked him up and down and he shivered slightly despite the warmth of the day. The man turned to his caddy. ‘Straight on the green by the looks of it. Yet another birdie to me, I think.’

‘But you don’t understand,’ Ianto spluttered. ‘That was my ball. It has a circle on it.’

‘Mine is a PGA,’ the other man said. ‘Oh and look, it’s right next to the pin.’ As he strode forward Ianto had trouble keeping pace. Reaching the ball the handsome man lined up his putt. ‘It’s this for my record,’ he said.

‘But look the ball has a circle on it! It’s my ball!’ There was that smile again and why was the caddy grinning as the dark haired man shook his arse?

‘Getting a good look, Jimmy,’ he shouted. ‘Rear of the year 2010, I’ll have you know!’ The putt went in the hole and Ianto rushed to pick out the ball.

‘There, it’s a circle!’ he said triumphantly.

‘Well of course it is. It wouldn’t roll if it was square!’ the other man countered. ‘And it’s only a game. What does it matter? Here have it. I really have no interest in handling your balls!’ Jimmy the caddy suppressed a laugh. Ianto scratched his head.

‘Yes, well I’ll get back to my game,’ he said. ‘You’ve put me in a very difficult position. I hope you realise that.’

The dark haired man gave what Ianto could only describe as a leer, after looking him up and down yet again. ‘I’ll try any position with you that you like, handsome!’

Ianto spluttered and blushed; who the hell was this man, and was he really coming on to him? Now both caddies were laughing out loud. 

‘Jones! Jones, come here! I’m waiting for you to take your shot,’ Toshiko Sato yelled. 

‘I’ll be with you now, Ms Sato,’ Ianto replied.

In the car park, Jack whistled a happy tune as he strode back to his car. He then discovered that there were two cars exactly the same, parked next to each other, and for the life of him he couldn’t remember his own licence plate. It had been a great party the night before. He tried the door of the nearest car; it was open. It must be his; he was always forgetting to lock it. He got in and lowered the visor. The keys were there just as always. He lowered the roof and turned the key; even in a Mini it was going to be a squeeze to get out. He moved forward and backward trying to get the angle right. 

Ianto was halfway back to his second shot when his caddy said, ‘Hey, Dr Jones! Isn’t that your car?’

Ianto turned to see that man moving his beloved Mini Cooper back and forth. He winced as the Mini hit the car in front. ‘I’ll be there in a minute, Ms Sato!’ he yelled, before running to the car park. He stood in front of his precious Mini. ‘Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?’ he shouted.

‘I’m trying to get out of this space. Whoever parked next to me didn’t leave me much room.’

Ianto winced again as the wing mirrors collided. ‘But this is my car!’ he said, as he jumped out of the way. 

‘Oh, good! Would you just move it, then I can get mine out.’ Jack said. 

‘But you’re in my car!’ Ianto insisted. Jack ignored him.

‘If you could just move your Mini back a little that would really help. What a coincidence that we have the same car! You show great taste! Now, if you could…’

‘OK,’ Ianto said, ‘I’ll move your car, just be careful with mine.’ The top was already down and the door open. ‘Keys?’ 

‘Oh, I always keep a spare pair in the visor.’ Jack replied absent-mindedly. Ianto pulled it down, started the car and reversed it. Jack moved forward too quickly and hit the car in front again, though harder this time. 

‘Look what you’ve done, ‘ Ianto cried. 

‘Oh, it doesn’t matter,’ Jack said, ‘I’m insured.’

‘But that’s my car!’ Ianto yelled again. 

‘Your car! Your golf ball! Is there anything in the world that doesn’t belong to you?’ There was that leer again. 

‘Yes, thank heavens! You!’ Ianto replied, exasperated. 

‘Oh, I’m sure I could arrange something. Now haven’t you got a game you should be playing?’ Jack pulled away.

Forgetting the golf, Ianto decided to follow him. Jack led him a merry dance down country lanes until he lost him. There Ianto was, still driving this infuriating man’s car and no doubt having screwed up the million pound grant. Lisa was going to kill him. He took out his phone and called Ms Sato’s office. Thirty minutes later someone called back. ‘Ms Sato understands you were taken ill and says can you be at The Ivy at 8:30 this evening, dress formal.’

‘Yes,’ Ianto said, wondering if that meant a dinner jacket.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was a rush to get there by train and he felt somewhat over-dressed, so Ianto wore a long overcoat to cover the dinner suit. He’d decided that a red tie would lessen the formality of the outfit. He had no real idea who else would be there. At the entrance to the restaurant he was greeted by the maître d’, who looked him up and down with a face that suggested that he might have just crawled out from under a stone. 

‘I’m here to see Ms Toshiko Sato. My name is Dr Ianto Jones.’

‘Ms Sato hasn’t arrived yet,’ he was informed, ‘but if you care to wait at the bar, we’ll let you know when her party arrives.’

Jack Harkness sat at the bar. He was wearing a blue dress suit, pale blue shirt and had a silk scarf around his neck. He’d already had a few drinks. He needed the Trust to give him some more money and, although he often claimed otherwise, for some reason Toshiko Sato had proved to be immune from his charms. 

‘See, like that,’ he told the barman, as the olive landed expertly into his mouth for the second time. ‘Now, you said three in a row for a free martini?’ He flipped the third olive and missed. It landed on the floor just as Ianto approached. The Welshman found himself on his arse, his face level with a man’s groin. He looked up and sighed. 

‘You again! I might have guessed it!’ 

Jack pulled him to his feet. ‘I’m so sorry! Are you alright? Nothing damaged?’ He turned Ianto around. ‘Oh, you’ve an olive stuck on your behind!’ He took out a handkerchief and dabbed at it. It really was a fine specimen, he thought. 

‘What the hell were you doing, throwing olives about?’ Ianto asked impatiently. 

‘Oh, it’s a trick the barman taught me. It takes practice; you’re always going to drop a few. Don’t be angry.’ He gave Ianto a look with such puppy-dog eyes that the Welshman felt lost for a moment. ‘What can I do?’ Jack asked, bringing his hands together as if in prayer. 

‘You could leave,’ Ianto barked. 

‘But I was here first,’ Jack protested.

‘Then I’ll go away!’

Jack watched him go and then walked over to a table, where a man was sitting with a plate of hors d’oeuvres. Ianto watched as Jack picked up another olive from the man’s plate. He attempted the same trick whilst the man looked on, somewhat surprised. ‘Are you sure you don’t want the rest?’ Dr Owen Harper snarked. 

Jack looked down. ‘No, I’ll just sit and practise if that’s okay with you.’ Jack’s scarf dropped on to the floor unnoticed. ‘Haven’t we met before?’ he asked.

‘No, I don’t think so. I’m Dr Owen Harper; I have a practice on Harley Street. I specialise in psychiatry.’

‘Really,’ Jack said. ‘My name is Jack Harkness. I’m surprised we haven’t met. I’ve been to a few shrinks in my time. Why, when I was seven I, well, that’s another story!’ Jack popped another olive in his mouth. ‘So, what is it you do exactly, Dr Harper?’

‘I specialise in nervous disorders,’ the doctor explained. 

‘Ah well, that explains it. I’m never nervous,’ Jack said. ‘A little mad, bad and dangerous to know, but not nervous! I always know what I want and I usually get it!’ He looked over to where Ianto was perched nervously on the arm of a sofa. Jack leaned in. ‘Now, Doctor, can I ask your professional opinion about something? What would you say about a man who continually follows another around?’

Owen raised his eyebrows; there were many things he could say about that! 

‘And then, when he talks with him,’ Jack continued, ‘all he wants to do is argue!’

‘Do you and this other man have relationship issues?’ Owen asked.

‘Oh, no, I hardly know him. I only met him today. He just follows me around and argues with me.’

‘Well, the love impulse in men very often reveals itself in terms of conflict. Perhaps the young man fancies you but doesn’t know that he is that way inclined.’ Once the handsome man had mentioned his name, Owen knew exactly who Jack Harkness was. And about his reputation! 

‘The love impulse,’ Jack replied, looking over at Ianto. 

‘Without me meeting this young man I would say that he’s developed some sort of fixation on you.’

‘That’s marvellous,’ Jack said. ‘I’m eternally grateful to you, Dr Harper.’ Jack picked the scarf from the chair next to him, stuffed it in his pocket and went over to Ianto. ‘You know why you’re following me,’ he said. ‘You’re fixated.’

‘I’m not following you! I’ve been over here avoiding you. You’re following me!’ Ianto replied indignantly. 

‘But you’re always behind me!’ Jack said mischievously. 

‘Oh no I’m not! I’ve no desire to be behind you at all, now or ever!’

‘You’re angry now, aren’t you?’ Jack said, pouting.

‘Yes, I am,’ Ianto replied. 

‘It’s the love impulse.’

‘The what?’

‘The love impulse. It frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict,’ Jack explained.

‘What?’ Ianto said again. ‘I’m getting married tomorrow – to a woman. I can assure you I have no love impulse towards you at all.’

‘Oh, you’d be amazed how many times I’ve heard that,’ Jack said. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the scarf. ‘Just hold this a minute,’ he said to Ianto and then walked away. He winked at Owen as he went past. 

‘Who’s that?’ Owen’s wife Diana asked. 

‘Oh, it’s Jack Harkness, you know the playboy. I’d love to get him on the couch.’

Diana laughed. ‘I’ve heard that’s not very difficult. Owen, where’s my scarf?’

‘I don’t know, darling. It was here a moment ago.’

‘Owen, my diamond pin is in it! You know, the one shaped like a plane? There,’ she said, pointing at Ianto as he approached.

‘Sir, that’s my wife’s scarf!’

‘No, it isn’t. I was given this by that man over there!’

Jack turned around to see the discussion. Oh dear, he thought.

‘Mr Harkness, please tell this man this isn’t your scarf!’ Owen insisted. 

Jack leant down and picked up his scarf from underneath the table. ‘No, this is my scarf,’ he said. 

‘But you gave me this!’ Ianto insisted. 

Jack took the scarf and gave it to Diana. ‘Sorry, it’s all my fault,’ he said ‘This gentleman is totally innocent.’

Ianto stormed off towards the stairs. Jack grabbed at his jacket, which ripped up the back to the collar. Ianto turned slowly. ‘This is a thousand pound bespoke suit and you’ve just ruined it!’

‘Yes, I have!’

‘Please,’ Ianto said, ‘I’m going to cover my eyes and when I count to ten, I want you gone. This day has been a disaster. I haven’t even had the chance to talk to the person I was meeting.’ Ianto accidentally knocked his glasses off and Jack bent down to pick them up, ripping his trousers just as a waiter dropped several plates. Ianto saw that Jack was obviously wearing nothing underneath. He pressed the man against a pillar.

‘Oh, now you’re interested,’ Jack said grinning. ‘But isn’t this a little public? Come with me.’

‘No, stay where you are,’ Ianto said. 

‘Really, you are quite bossy, aren’t you?’ Jack replied. ‘Still, I’m not averse to a little role play! OK, I’m all yours!’

‘No, you idiot, I’m trying to help you, that’s all! You’ve torn…’

‘Look, I’m sorry about your coat,’ Jack interrupted. 

‘It’s not only my coat you’ve torn!’

Jack strode back into the restaurant; Ianto had no choice but to stand behind him. Everyone stared. 

‘My, I don’t even know your name, let alone your intentions,’ Jack said. 

‘Oh for God’s sake, you’ve ripped your trousers and your behind is hanging out,’ Ianto whispered. 

‘Oh, such a gentleman,’ Jack replied. Truly he wouldn’t have cared if the whole of The Ivy’s clientele had seen his arse. It was a good arse and to be honest, a few people there had already seen it close up, but he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. ‘Get behind me then,’ he said, ‘and press closely.’ As he did what he was told, Ianto felt his body react. Shit, what the hell was going on, he wondered, and would Jack notice. 

Later, back at Jack’s London flat, Ianto speculated as to how he was going to sort this problem. Jack had insisted that he could repair Ianto’s jacket and somehow he’d agreed. 

‘Look, I’ve simply got to see this person I was meeting, or I’m lost. The museum needs the money. I’ve got to see Ms Sato,’

‘What? It’s Tosh you’re going to see?’ Jack asked. ‘You’re in luck. I know her well and I can persuade her to do anything.’

I bet you can, Ianto thought. There was certainly something about this monstrous man that Ianto found fascinating. 

‘Look, I’ve still got your car. We can go to her house. It’s just a bit outside London. It’ll take about an hour.’

‘But I’ve got to get back to Cardiff! I’m getting married tomorrow!’ Ianto explained.

‘Really? Oh, well, I’ll take you back. I’m going there anyway; my sister has a place up there, so that’ll save you getting the last train, which I think you’ve actually missed now. I’m sure she’ll understand.’ Jack really didn’t want him to go anywhere, the man he now knew as Dr Ianto Jones. There was just something about him. 

‘Alright,’ Ianto agreed. He knew Lisa would be furious if he missed a chance to get the money. 

An alarming hour later, during which Ianto had feared for his life more than once, they pulled up at a big house at the end of a long drive. Toshiko Sato must be a damned good lawyer to afford this, he thought. ‘Do you always drive like that?’ Ianto asked, loosening his grip on the sides of his seat. 

‘Shut up, Ianto, or I’ll not help you.’

The house was all in darkness. ‘I’ll wake her up,’ Jack said. ‘By now she should be back from the restaurant.’ He picked up some gravel and threw it at a window, before Ianto could stop him. He wanted to leave, or curl up and die, whichever was quicker. Jack picked up another rock, just as Toshiko pulled up the window. It caught her square on the forehead and she dropped like a stone. Jack ran, pulling Ianto with him.

‘But, shouldn’t we…,’ he said.

‘I’ll call her secretary, Adam Smith. He lives above the stable block; he’ll sort it.’

By the time they got to Cardiff, Ianto was exhausted. ‘Don’t worry, Ianto. Tosh will have calmed down and I’ll talk to her tomorrow. I’ll tell her it was all my fault. She’s used to me, and she loves me.’

‘But, Jack, look will you listen to me? I’m getting married tomorrow.’ Ianto suddenly wondered who he was trying to convince. 

Jack laughed. ‘What for?’ he asked. Ianto stared at him.

‘My future wife regards me as a man with promise and dignity.’

Jack put his hand on Ianto’s arm. ‘But things aren’t the same now, are they? You’ve met me and I’ve met you. And are you sure you still want to get married? You know, forsaking all others.’

Ianto looked at Jack Harkness. He saw the shiny dark hair, those blue eyes as deep as the ocean and that smile that lit up a room. He thought he’d put all these feelings behind him but this man had stirred everything up again. And now Ianto was confused beyond reason. And the truth was he’d had fun. 

‘Look, it isn’t that I don’t like you, Jack, because after all, in moments of quiet, I’m strangely drawn to you. But there haven’t been any quiet moments! Our relationship has been a series of misadventures from beginning to end, so if you don’t mind, I’ll see Ms Sato alone.’

Jack grabbed Ianto’s tie and pulled him towards him. He kissed him hard and after a while, Ianto responded and then pulled away. ‘You kissed me,‘ he said.

‘You noticed,’ Jack replied.

‘Now, Jack, I’m going to say goodnight. You’ve got your car back and I’ve got mine, and I hope I never set eyes on you again.’ It took all the strength he had to say that.

‘You don’t mean it,’ Jack said.

‘Yes, I do,’ Ianto replied, as he slammed the car door shut, before tripping up the step. As he adjusted his glasses, Jack thought he looked so endearing. He watched him go. Somehow he knew he had to get that money for Ianto, even if it meant giving up his own plans. And somehow he was going to stop that wedding. He knew Ianto fancied him, he could tell, and he was never wrong about that sort of thing – ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning Ianto got dressed in his grey suit with matching tie and purple shirt. He’d wondered about buying something new but Lisa had insisted that it was unnecessary, especially after he’d spent so much on the dress suit. And after all they were merely popping into the register office to sign the papers. He knew that she was just being practical but personally he would have liked some more pomp and ceremony. He thought briefly about Jack Harkness and then banished those thoughts. ‘It won’t do,’ he said to himself. He needed to stop thinking about those blue eyes and that wide smile and what might be under those clothes as he had done last night, lying in his bed, all alone and needy... He jumped when the phone rang.

‘I’m sorry, Lisa. I did see Ms Sato, but I really didn’t get to talk to her about the grant. Yes, she is female,’ he explained.

‘I don’t understand Ianto; either you saw her or you didn’t. You promised me that you would get the money.’

‘I know; it was difficult. There were complications,’ he continued. The doorbell sounded and he carried the phone to the door to answer it. The postman handed him a box.

‘Now, Lisa, before we’re married, I need to get one thing clear. I will make my own decisions.’ The postman gave him a knowing smile.

‘Yes, Ianto, but you have to admit that you do need organising sometimes,’ she replied. He looked at the box excitedly. ‘Oh Lisa, its arrived, the crest bone it’s here! Oh Lisa, I’m so excited! What a marvellous wedding present! You go ahead to the museum and I’ll meet you there.’ As he opened the box, the phone rang again.

‘Hello? Oh it’s you,’ Ianto said.

‘Good morning, Ianto, I was wondering. I know that you deal with extinct animals, but do you know anything about big cats? I seem to have one here. It’s a leopard.’

‘Jack, where the hell would you get a leopard?’ He wondered what the hell the other man was up to. 

‘It’s my brother’s fault. He always swore that he’d get me back. It arrived this morning with all its papers. It seems that it was kept in someone’s house. I really need to get it to my sister at her rescue centre, but I’m not sure I can manage alone.’ At that moment the cat was lying on its back at his feet rolling around and purring. It was completely tame. Even Gray wouldn’t have put his life at risk. At least, he hoped he wouldn’t have!

‘Come on, Baby, just go in the bathroom, there’s a good girl. No, not you, Ianto. I was talking to the leopard. I need you to come over to my house. It’s not far from you, just outside Cardiff. Please, Ianto.’

‘I’m sorry, Jack; the leopard is your problem. Surely you can get someone else. I’m getting married and I have this bone to deal with!’ At his end of the line Jack raised an eyebrow and smirked. Ianto blushed, even though no one could see him.

‘But Ianto, you don’t understand! I need you here now. I’m going to come and get you.’ Jack turned and fell over the table, sending his breakfast dishes crashing to the floor.

‘Jack, are you okay? Is it the leopard?’ Ianto seemed genuinely concerned. A plan formed in Jack’s mind. ‘Yes Ianto, it’s the leopard. It’s got me cornered. It’s growling at me. I think Gray may hate me after all.’ He pulled over another table and banged the floor. ‘Quickly Ianto, I need you!’

‘Okay Jack, just hold on and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Hide behind the sofa or something.’

‘Yes Ianto, please hurry!’ Every man wants to be a hero, Jack thought, as he got up and started to tidy the mess he’d made. The phone rang. ‘Hello big brother. Did you get my gift?’ Gray asked.

‘Yes, really Gray, these jokes have got to stop. Gwen is going to go mad when she finds out. Oh alright, I know setting you up with that woman may have been going too far. No more pranks. Yes, I’m sorting it out now. She is rather lovely and so good natured. How old is she? About six months, you say. Aww, poor thing. So you’re off to rescue some more Spanish chimps next. Good for you.’ Jack was already planning his next move as he put the phone down.

Ianto drove like a lunatic, jumped out of his car and banged on Jack’s front door. He answered and appeared perfectly calm.

‘You’ve got me here under false pretences, haven’t you? I knew it; there isn’t any leopard, is there?’ Ianto said. Jack took him to his office; the cat was curled up in a chair, but growled when it saw Ianto.

‘Shit! You’ve a leopard in there!’ he exclaimed. 

‘I did tell you that!’ Jack declared, ‘Isn’t she beautiful? She’s really tame and she’ll adore you. Let me show you.’

‘No, Jack, it’s a leopard. I have a thing about cats. They don’t like me. They always stare at me and rub against me.’ Jack came right up next to him and looked him in the eye. ‘Well, I can’t blame them for that!’ he said.

‘We’ve got to phone someone. It could do anything!’ Ianto insisted. 

Jack got the lead and attached it to the big cat’s collar, and then he switched on his CD player. ‘She really loves this old tune,’ he explained. I can’t give you anything but love baby came out of the speakers. The leopard woke up and headed straight for Ianto. She rubbed her head against his trousers.

‘I’m getting fur all over me!’ he protested. ‘This may be the maddest thing that’s ever happened to me!’ The cat was now rolling on the floor, grabbing at Ianto’s shoelaces. ‘Jack! Get it off me!’ Ianto pleaded. 

‘Ah, but she likes you. She’s just like a little kitten.’ Jack smiled and petted the leopard’s head. 

‘With ruddy big claws! Look what she’s done to my shoes!’ Ianto said. 

‘You being here will make it easier to take her to my sister’s rescue centre up in the Beacons. She has a great place in the countryside. I can drive and you can look after Baby. Can’t he, Baby?’

‘I’m going nowhere with you,’ Ianto said adamantly. ‘I’m getting married this afternoon and there’s this bone I have to deal with.’ He held out the box. 

‘Oh, Ianto, enough with the excuses. Come on!’ Jack marched past him to the front door, pulling Baby along on the lead. 

In his hurry, Ianto had left his car open so Jack pushed Baby in and hid in the back seat. It was a bit of a squash, especially with a live leopard. A few minutes later Ianto got in, too distracted to notice anything, although he was curious where Jack had got to. After ten minutes Jack couldn’t stay still any longer. 

‘You! What the hell are you doing here?’ Ianto said. The leopard growled. ‘Bloody hell! You’ve brought that as well! In my Mini! I dread to think what her claws are doing to my seats!’

‘Please, Ianto. It won’t take long, I promise.’ Jack was lying. ‘I’ll come up front and direct you.’ He started to clamber over into the front seat, which wasn’t easy in a Mini. Ianto swerved suddenly.

‘Bloody hell, Jack! Be careful!’

‘Well, I could hardly get out on the street, could I? Not with Baby in the car.’

A little while later they were heading up the valley towards the Beacons. Baby sat with her head between the seats. She purred as Jack stroked her and sang; he had a lovely baritone voice which almost soothed Ianto as well. 

‘You tricked me into this,’ he said. 

‘Don’t worry, Ianto. Everything will be alright,’ Jack replied.

‘I’m beginning not to care anymore. All I want to do is get rid of you and the leopard, get back to Cardiff and get married. I just want to forget that the last 24 hours ever happened.’

‘Oh come on, Ianto. What was wrong with the last 24 hours? I’ve had a wonderful time!’ It was true; he had. 

‘Jack, you look at everything upside down. I’ve never known anyone quite like you.’

Jack sighed. ‘You’ve just had a bad day, that’s all.’

‘Well, isn’t that a masterpiece of understatement. This has been the worst day of my life.’ But who was he trying to kid? It had also been the best. 

‘Look, we’ll be there soon. I just have to go the butcher’s in Brecon and pick up some meat for Baby. She’ll be starving by now. You’ll have plenty of time. Park there,’ Jack said. 

‘I can’t, Jack, it’s double yellow lines.’ Ianto looked around but there was no alternative. 

‘Just park there, you won’t be a minute. If anyone comes, I’ll move it. I can’t leave Baby here on her own.’

Reluctantly, Ianto went into the butcher’s. ‘I’d like 30 lbs of sirloin steak, please.’

‘Did you say 30 lbs?’ the butcher asked. ‘Are you from the rescue place? The regular order has already gone. You must be new there. You’re not really dressed for it, are you?’

Outside in the street Jack sat on a bench and waited in front of the car.

‘Hey, is this car yours?’ PC Andy Davidson said. ‘You can’t park there; you’ve got to leave access. I’m going to have to give you a ticket.’

Jack noticed Baby push herself out through the open window. She leapt into the car next door. ‘But that’s not my car, Constable!’ Jack said, as he got into the other one. Some people were really careless! He grabbed the wires underneath and watched as the PC moved off, having placed a ticket on the windscreen. The engine spluttered into life as Ianto came out of the shop.

‘Over here!’ Jack yelled. 

‘But…,’ Ianto protested. 

‘Just shut up and get in!’

Ianto did as he was told and Jack drove away. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked. He looked back to see a man shouting after them. It was the man who’d been in The Ivy the night before. 

‘Constable, they’ve stolen my car!’ Owen Harper said. ‘I want this sorted immediately! I come here for a rest from the stress of my job and look what happens! Someone steals my car! Don’t just stand there! They could be anywhere by now!’

Ten minutes later, after they’d travelled up a long drive; Jack pulled the car into a large shed and closed the doors behind them. ‘We’ll just put Baby in this stable for now. I’ll need to ring from the main house as my battery’s dead. The rescue centre is about a mile away.’

‘But, Jack, we’ve just stolen a car! Don’t you care about anything?’ Ianto said. ‘I’m a respectable academic. I can’t afford to appear in court! It was that psychiatrist, Dr Harper, you know.’

‘Oh, I’ll sort it,’ Jack said, nonchalantly. ‘I’ll promise to let him psychoanalyse me. He’ll love that. And Tosh’ll sort out the legal stuff. She always manages to clear up after me somehow!’

Ianto stood open-mouthed; this really was a different world.

‘Oh come on, Ianto. It’s been fun, hasn’t it?’ Jack pushed Ianto back against the car. Ianto could feel the heat of Jack’s body against his own and before he knew it he was being kissed again. It felt so good and he found he had no power to stop his body responding. Jack ground against him. ‘I know that you like me, Ianto, I can feel it,’ Jack whispered. Ianto felt a hand slip to his belt.

‘Jack, we can’t, we shouldn’t,’ he gasped between kisses. ‘Oh God,’ he said, as Jack’s tongue plunged into his mouth as if the other man was trying to find Ianto’s tonsils. Jack pulled down Ianto’s zip and palmed the obvious bulge.

‘Jack, please,’ he murmured.

‘Please what, Ianto? Please what?’ Jack said, but Ianto had no idea.

‘I’m getting married this afternoon.’

‘You haven’t answered my question.’ It took all of Ianto’s strength to push Jack back. He did up his zip. 

‘Jack, I just can’t. Now I need to get a taxi to go to pick up my car in Brecon. I just hope no one has towed it away.’

‘Ianto, you can’t really mean you’re going to get married. Look at you. You’re all dishevelled and covered in cat fur, and you smell a bit too.’ He didn’t mention the more obvious reaction that Ianto had just had when pressed against him. Ianto clearly wasn’t ready to acknowledge the growing attraction he felt. Jack knew that he needed more time. ‘Your shoes are ruined as well. You need to shower and while you do, I’ll sort out your car. Tommy, our handyman, will go and get it. That constable is new. I’ll sort things I promise. Please let me try.’

Ianto didn’t feel like he had the strength to resist. ‘Yes, a shower,’ he said. ‘Do I really smell?’

‘Yes,’ Jack replied. He waited until Ianto was in the bathroom and then took the clothes and put them in the washing machine on the longest cycle. Ianto wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while if he could help it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jack got undressed. He chose his royal blue dressing gown and sat on the bed, waiting for Ianto to finish in the shower. It was so tempting to go in there. Ianto was only ten feet away from him, naked, soaping his body. Jack knew that his own body was interested in exploring this possibility. What was it about this seemingly straight-laced man that got to him? Ianto wasn’t his usual type. He’d always gone for muscle men with bodies straight out of a marvel comic, men who could take him apart. He doubted that Ianto was like that, although he’d seen signs of fire in those light grey eyes, hidden behind the thick lenses. Ianto was tall but not quite as tall as he was and just a little younger, he guessed, and he was respectable – that was it. He was all buttoned up, with his suits and ties and glasses and hair gelled down under control, but he was the most handsome man Jack had ever met and Jack wanted him. Even more surprising was that he wanted to be with him, he liked him. He liked his passion for his dinosaurs. If only he could make Ianto feel that passion for him, then he knew that there would be fireworks between them. But there was also the problem of Ianto’s fiancée and his impending marriage. From the little Ianto had said it seemed more like a business deal than a romance. He hoped that was true. Absentmindedly, he undid the string around the box Ianto had left on the bed.

‘What’s in the box?’ he yelled.

‘The crest of a pteranodon longiceps,’ Ianto shouted back. ‘It’s the last piece I need to get a complete skeleton.’

‘Oh really,’ Jack said. He opened the box. ‘Oh, it’s just a bone,’ he added, putting it back down on the bed. Ianto put his face through the slightly open door. ‘Yes, Jack, please put it back in the box and go away, would you?’

‘Alright, Ianto. Is there anything else I can do for you? Perhaps I could help dry you off,’ Jack offered.

‘Kind offer but you could just pass me my clothes,’ Ianto put his hand out through the gap.

‘I’m sorry Ianto, they aren’t here. They smelled so badly that I put them in the wash,’ Jack explained.

‘But, but they were dry clean only! The suit will be ruined! What have you done? I’ve got nothing to wear and I’ve got to leave here immediately!’

‘You can’t leave without your clothes, Ianto,’ Jack insisted. ‘Anyway, I’m just going to have a shower myself. I’ll use the guest bedroom.’

‘But I can’t stay here!’ Ianto said. All he had on was a towel and not a very big one at that. After what had happened in the stable, he didn’t trust himself, or Jack. He had to get himself sorted. He was getting married, wasn’t he?

‘Everything’s going to be alright. Everything’s going to be alright,’ he tried to tell himself. ‘It’s no good; I’m going crazy.’ He opened a wardrobe to look for something to wear. It was full of women’s clothes which would never fit him. The only thing that might go round him was an elaborate ivory negligee, just this side of decent. He wondered why Jack had offered him this bathroom. He checked himself in the full length mirror and then found himself trying to imagine what Jack would look like wearing this. ‘Stop it!’ he told himself. He was undoubtedly going crazy. The last twenty four hours and that man had driven him mad. He needed to find Jack and get his clothes. Once out on the landing, he heard singing coming from another room. ‘Jack has a nice voice,’ he thought.

‘Jack, will you come out of there and find me some clothes please?’ Ianto shouted at the bathroom door. ‘Or I’ll come in and get you!’

‘I’m not stopping you,’ Jack said loudly. ‘I’m all naked and soapy in here. I’m just soaping my chest. You could do my back for me if you want!’ 

Ianto hesitated at the door. ‘Oh well, maybe I won’t. There must be some man who lives here. Isn’t your sister married?’

‘Oh, you couldn’t wear Rhys’ stuff. He’s too short and much wider than you are. Tommy is more your size. He’ll be around somewhere, fixing something. He does everything really and he’s very handsome. To be honest, I think our hot shot lawyer has a bit of a thing for him. He certainly does for her.’

‘Don’t you have any clothes here?’ Ianto pleaded. He looked around the room.

‘No, I don’t live here and the clothes I was wearing are in here. Don’t worry; I’m sure we’ll be able to find Tommy soon.’

‘I can’t wait around for you. I’ll go and look for him myself.’ Ianto ran down the stairs to the front door and ran smack into a woman coming in.

‘Who the hell are you?’ she asked, looking him up and down. ‘And why are you wearing my mother’s clothes?’

‘I’m Doctor.., oh, it doesn’t matter; I’m not myself. Who are you?’

‘I’m Gwen Williams and this is my house. And I repeat, why are you wearing that?’

Exasperated Ianto threw his arms into the air and said, ‘Because I’m gay all of a sudden!’

‘Really,’ Gwen replied.

‘No, my clothes are in the wash because Jack put them there and all I could find that fitted me was this. I’m trying to find Tommy,’ he explained.

‘Ah, Jack, now I begin to understand why a strange young man would be running around my house wearing nothing but a negligee.’ She looked down and Ianto instinctively pulled each side of the negligee so it overlapped. ‘Are you sure that you’re not gay? My brother has been known to have that effect on men.’

Ianto sank down onto a stair. ‘I don’t know what I am anymore.’ Suddenly there was barking and a small mongrel dog ran in.

‘Shut up, Captain John,’ Gwen said. The dog took no notice and continued to dance around. At that moment Jack appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘Oh no,’ he said when he saw Gwen.

‘Stop yapping, CJ, and Jack, get down here and tell me why this man is wearing our mother’s old negligee!’ Jack did as he was told. He hugged his sister and patted the dog. ‘It’s lovely to see you, Gwen. Is Rhys here as well?’

‘Yes, he’s gone down to the rescue park. We were supposed to have a delivery today,’ she said. ‘Now, who is this poor young man, Jack? Do you even know his name? And why did you bring him here?’

‘I’m sorry, Gwen. This is a friend of mine. He’s been having a difficult time lately. Stress, you know and I thought he could use a holiday. You remember Owen Harper, the psychiatrist? You went out with him briefly before you married Rhys. He asked if I could help, so it’s really just me being charitable, you see!’ Ianto put his head into his hands. ‘So now I’m a charity case and mad,’ he said.

‘He’s just a bit on edge,’ Jack whispered. ‘So I’m just letting him relax. He liked the negligee and it does suit him, don’t you think?’

‘Jack took my clothes!’ Ianto tried to protest, ‘I don’t want to wear this! I just want to get married!’

‘Married, Jack! Are you getting married to him?’ Gwen smiled.

‘To him!’ Ianto said. ‘No, I’m getting married to Lisa, my fiancée.’ Gwen looked confused. ‘But I thought that you said you were gay!’ Jack leaned in and whispered into his sister’s ear. ‘See, I told you he’s very confused. Owen says we have to be gentle with him.’ 

Jack and Gwen continued to talk over each other. The dog jumped up and barked again. Ianto couldn’t get a word in. He stood up. ‘QUIET! QUIET!’ Finally he stood on Jack’s foot to get his attention.

‘Please,’ he said to Gwen through gritted teeth. ‘Where can I find some clothes?’ Gwen pointed upstairs. ‘I’m surprised Jack didn’t tell you where to find my husband’s clothes. Our room is in the loft. You take the stairs through the door at the end of the landing.’ Ianto glared at Jack and then ran up the stairs two at a time. The dog followed him. Jack watched him go up, took a flower from the vase and began to pull off the petals one by one. ‘He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me. Shit, Gwen, if he gets clothes he’ll leave and he’s the only man that I’ve ever loved!’ Jack raced up the stairs after Ianto. He went into the guest room to retrieve the rest of his own clothes. He didn’t see the dog going into the room Ianto had used and he didn’t see him coming out again with a bone in his mouth before running back down the stairs.

Ianto met Jack on the landing. He’d found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that were several sizes too big for him and three inches too short. ‘I know that I look ridiculous,’ he said. ‘But I have to get back to Cardiff.’

‘But Ianto, you can’t get married like that. At least wait to see if your suit comes out alright,’ Jack said.

‘It’s three hours to the time of my wedding,’ Ianto said. ‘I have to get back. Don’t you understand?’ Ianto felt like crying, screaming and shouting. Perhaps if he punched Jack that might work. ‘Look, Jack, I’ve got to sort out so many things and I still need to see Ms Sato.’

‘But, Ianto, I’ve told you that Tosh is our lawyer. She’s our family lawyer; I’m sure Gwen will help.’

Suddenly Ianto remembered; Gwen Williams, Ms Sato had mentioned a Mrs Williams who could decide on the money. ‘Bloody hell! Of the sixty million people in this country, why did I have to run into you yesterday?’ He was never going to get his money now. 

‘Why? What have I done?’ Jack asked plaintively. 

‘Your sister is going to give away a million pounds to a worthy cause. I had hoped it would be to the museum.’

‘I know,’ Jack said, ‘I have my own ideas, although perhaps less worthy. But I can see your problem. You might not have made the best impression upon my sister!’

‘Jack,’ Ianto said, placing a hand on each of the other man’s arms. ‘Please listen, this is so serious and so important to my work.’

Jack stared at him. ‘What?’ Ianto questioned. 

‘You really are very handsome,’ Jack said. 

Ianto tried to get him to focus. ‘Look, Gwen doesn’t know who I am and she must never find out. It could ruin everything. Tell her whatever you want. Do you understand?’

‘Yes, Ianto, but you really do have the bluest eyes, and the loveliest of smiles, when you’re not frowning.’

‘Oh God! Never mind,’ Ianto said, shaking his head. 

‘But I will remember,’ Jack replied, following Ianto into the bedroom. 

‘Where is it?’ Ianto had opened the box.

‘Where’s what?’

‘The bone! My pteranodon crest! It was in here and it’s gone!’ He looked around and under the bed. ‘It’s rare and precious! What did you do with it? Oh, this is really too much, Jack!’

‘I haven’t got it!’ Jack replied, ‘Couldn’t you just get another one?’

‘It took five years to find that one! Has someone else been in this room?’

Suddenly, all became clear. ‘Captain John was in here,’ he said.

‘Captain John?’ Ianto questioned.

‘The dog, Captain John, he’s always getting into mischief. We sent him to doggy rehab but it didn’t work. He buries everything. Rhys has lost so many shoes and boots!’

Both of them ran down the stairs. Gwen was in the kitchen. ‘What is it?’ she asked. 

‘Have you seen C J?’ Jack asked. 

‘Why? What do you want him for?’ Gwen asked. They looked at each other. ‘He likes dogs,’ Jack explained. They heard yapping.

‘Outside,’ Ianto said. ‘Oh no he has mud on his nose. He’s buried it.’ They had to encourage the dog to dig. After fifteen minutes they had a slipper, a boot and a ball but no bone.

‘Come on, Captain John, dig for bones.’

‘Jack, where are you?’ Gwen shouted. ‘Why are there holes all over my garden? What is he doing?’

‘He’s looking for something CJ buried,’ Jack explained.

‘Look, who is this man?’ she asked.

‘He’s got a PhD,’ Jack replied.

‘Is that it? Is that all you know? And what’s he a doctor of? I think you’re going as mad as him.’

‘That’s not all I know, Gwen. You see I love him and he doesn’t know it yet, but he loves me too, and he’s going to marry me.’

‘But I thought he said he was getting married to someone else,’ she replied.

‘He is, no he was, but he won’t marry her now.’

‘Her?’ Gwen asked. ‘Now I’m totally confused. I suppose that’s why you want more money, so that he’ll marry you. He’s just another of your waifs and strays isn’t he? What’s his name?’

‘It’s ….. Bone,’ Jack replied.

‘Bone! That’s a ridiculous name. What does he do, this doctor of yours?’ Gwen asked.

‘He looks after rescue dogs, in a shelter, you know.’

‘I suppose that’s why he’s chasing CJ everywhere,’ Gwen said, watching Ianto disappear into the bushes. Gwen shouted. ‘Captain John, get here now!’ As if by magic, the dog trotted alongside his owner and Ianto fell to the ground. Jack went over to him and knelt by his side. ‘Don’t worry, Ianto. I told her you were an expert with dogs and she’s invited you to dinner. Impress her and you still might get your money after all.’


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ianto picked up the extension and wondered how he was going to explain missing their wedding to Lisa. His mobile was dead. He guessed that there would be so many messages on it, asking where he was and what he was doing, and why wasn’t he there? It was just as well that they were only having a quickie ceremony in the registry office. Perhaps she’d think that missing the wedding was worth it if they got the one million pound grant.

‘I’m so sorry, Lisa,’ he said

‘It’s alright, darling. I know it’s for a good cause. We can always do the wedding some other time.’

Ianto felt a hand on his shoulder. ‘Go away, Jack,’ he said irritably. ‘No, I wasn’t talking to you, Lisa. It’s just someone who is here being very annoying.’ Not wanting to give in Jack got on the phone in the hallway. ‘At the next tone it will be 7.40 precisely. At the next tone it will be 7.40 and one quarter precisely.’ Ianto took no notice.

‘I think you’ve got the time wrong, Jack,’ Rhys announced as he came in. As usual he was covered in mud from dealing with the animals. Jack liked Rhys. He was down to earth and good for his sister. ‘According to my watch its 8pm and time for dinner.’ Gwen came into the entrance hall. ‘Still no word about that leopard, love,’ Rhys declared.

‘I don’t understand it. Well, perhaps it wasn’t loaded on the plane after all. We haven’t been able to get hold of Gray. Anyway, dinner will be ready in a matter of minutes so get tidied up. And Jack, I assume your friend Dr Bone will be staying for dinner.’ She hesitated for a moment and then eyeballed her brother. ‘I assume you’ve no idea where this leopard could be, have you?’ He shook his head.

‘But yes, I hope he will be staying for dinner,’ Jack replied. Rhys nudged him. ‘Found a friend then, Jack? What does this one do then?’ 

‘He looks after dogs. You know, he rescues them and finds them homes. Sort of like here but on a smaller scale. Here he is now.’ Ianto came into the room dressed in the clothes that Gwen had provided. ‘Ah those are much better,’ she said. ‘I told you Gray was more your size. Anyone would think that you wanted him half naked, Jack!’ Jack winked at Rhys, who smothered a guffaw.

‘It’s nice to meet you, Dr Bone,’ Rhys said holding out his hand.

‘Bone?’ Ianto enquired. He looked at Jack. ‘Oh yes, Bone, that’s me.’

‘Good name for someone who rescues dogs,’ Rhys said. ’I’d be interested in hearing about your work over dinner. Now, I’d better get changed. Can’t have me at the dinner table smelling of monkey shit now can we?’

Jack grabbed Ianto’s hand. ‘Let’s you and I go for a walk before dinner,’ he said. He pulled Ianto with him and then hurried to the stable. Baby was still safe but obviously hungry. They took the meat from the boot of the car and threw her a few chunks.

‘I can’t tell Gwen that Baby is here. She’ll kill me and you won’t get your million. We’ve got to keep this quiet until she’s agreed to give you the money.’ Ianto sat on a hay bale. ‘How the hell did I get mixed up in this,’ he thought. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the dog sniffing the stall. He tried not to make any sudden movements that would scare it.

‘Get Captain John away from there. If Baby eats him, we’ll never find my bone. Why is he called Captain John anyway? It’s a stupid name for a dog.’

‘Old boyfriend of mine kept poodles, loved them. We used to have a Jack Russell and he got one of the poodles pregnant. John never forgave me. CJ’s one of the puppies.’

All through dinner Ianto kept one eye on the dog. Any time he went outside Ianto followed him but usually he just cocked his leg and then returned to sit in the armchair. Rhys kept asking him questions about his involvement in rescuing dogs and Ianto did his best to maintain the lie.

‘You must need funding,’ Rhys said. ‘We’re lucky that the Torchwood Foundation approved of us.’

‘Yes,’ Ianto agreed. ‘Money is always an issue in my line of work.’

‘Perhaps we can help with that,’ Gwen said to Rhys. ‘I’ll have a word with our lawyer.’ Suddenly two sounds filled the air. One was Rhys’ phone and the other was the cry of a leopard.

‘Jesus, what was that?’ Gwen said. ‘It can’t be one of ours; their indoor quarters are sound proofed.’ She saw the look of worry on her husband’s face. 

‘Right, alright, thanks for letting me know,’ he said. He sat down in his chair.

Ten minutes earlier, in the stable block, Tommy Brockless had just about completed his rounds for the night. He picked up the hay bale, opened the stable and threw it in. He didn’t notice the leopard amongst the straw. He picked up the saddle to clean it and closed the door. The latch didn’t catch and the door fell back open. Baby walked out to freedom.

The cry pierced the night again. Captain Jack chose that moment to run out of the house and Ianto chased after him.

‘What the hell is that?’ Gwen asked. ‘Is it something to do with that call, Rhys?’

‘Yes, that was Joe at the safari park. It seems some idiots vandalised the fences around the big cat area last night and then covered it with brushwood. Of course one of the cats found it – a leopard - and it escaped. Joe wanted to let us know just in case it picked up the scent of our cats and headed our way. They are going to put warnings out but they don’t want people to panic, just to stay indoors. I think that might be what we heard and I’m going to get Tommy and a few of the lads to go out with dart guns.’

‘But Jack and that Dr Bone, what is his first name, are out there. They’ve just gone after CJ. You need to find them,’ Gwen said.

‘I’ll get the guns and go after them,’ Rhys said. ‘If they come back, just tell them to stay indoors.’

‘Mr Williams!’ Tommy said breathlessly, as he burst through the door. ‘I’ve just seen a leopard.’

‘Where?’ Rhys asked.

‘Just behind the stable block. I thought that I was seeing things!’ he explained.

‘No, it’s alright you’re not going mad. One of the big cats has escaped from the safari park. I must say that I’m surprised that it’s got here so quickly. I’ll get the guns and you bring round the Land Rover. Hopefully it’ll be heading for the rescue centre.’

Jack and Ianto had lost track of the dog and were on their way back when they heard Rhys talking to Tommy at the door. ‘Now we’ll need to find this leopard …..’

‘Shit!’ Jack said. ‘Baby must have got out.’ They checked the stable and found that Baby had gone. Panicking, they headed for the house. Gwen saw them and ushered them in.

‘Thanks goodness you’re both alright! There’s a leopard loose! The safari park phoned Rhys to say that one had escaped and Tommy saw one just behind the stable block.

‘But,’ Jack said, as he looked at Ianto. He realised that there were now two leopards loose. He tugged at Ianto’s sleeve. ‘Ianto, we need to go and help, don’t we? And CJ is still out there. Don’t worry, Gwen; we’ll stay in the car.’ 

They drove around, singing out of the window, hoping to encourage Baby to come to them. CJ barked in the distance and Ianto jumped out and chased after him with Jack bringing up the rear. 

‘We need to be careful, Ianto,’ Jack said. ‘There’s another leopard loose.

‘The other one is probably miles away,’ Ianto replied. ‘And Baby is tame.’ Ianto took a step back and slipped down a slope. Jack tumbled down after him and landed face first in Ianto’s lap. Jack looked up and smiled. Ianto frowned and moved himself away. They heard the sound of growling nearby. Moving through the scrub they saw a leopard and terrier play fighting across the other side of a stream.

‘Aww, so cute,’ Jack said

‘How deep is this stream?’ Ianto asked.

‘It’ll be fine.’ They took three steps and plunged up to their necks. By the time they’d crossed, both animals had disappeared and they were lost in the woods of the estate.

‘We could wait here to be rescued,’ Jack said. ‘Don’t you like my company? I like yours.’ He leant his head on Ianto’s shoulder. 

The palaeontologist turned to look at him. ‘Well, yes, I tell you what, why don’t we let CJ and Baby look for us? Why didn’t I think of that before? It would have made things so much easier!’ Ianto replied irritably. 

‘You are being a bit grumpy, Jack said. He almost pouted.

‘Well, I’m lost in a forest with a madman, who pinched a leopard for fun and I’ve lost my precious crest bone and, oh yes, there’s another leopard loose somewhere. Did I miss anything?’

‘Your wedding,’ Jack said quietly.

‘Oh yes, how could I forget that?’ Ianto said. And then he realised that he had completely forgotten that he was supposed to have married Lisa that afternoon. Did that mean something? He leant his head on Jack’s shoulder and sighed.

‘I’m never going to get that money for the museum now. If you’d planned this, you couldn’t have ruined things for me any better. You told your sister that I was crazy and that my name was Dr Bone and that I rescued dogs and you didn’t tell me. You just say whatever comes into your head and take responsibility for nothing.’

Jack looked rather sheepish. ‘There’s something else I didn’t tell you. Toshiko is coming to see Gwen tonight.’ Ianto stood up in front of Jack. ‘Oh God, she’ll tell Gwen who I really am. They’ll both think I’m crazy. I can kiss my tyrannosaurus goodbye. All Ms Sato will remember is that I threw a rock at her when it was you! All my hard work will have been for nothing! 

Ianto’s rant was interrupted by the sound of a truck stopping nearby.’

‘Quick, they’ll be able to give us a lift,’ Ianto said. 

When they got through the trees, they could see a leopard in a cage at the back. ‘Oh no! They’ve got Baby!’ Jack said. ‘You talk to them and I’ll get her out.’

But before Jack could get the rope over its head, the leopard snarled viciously and ran off into the bushes. Jack came to the front and whispered into Ianto’s ear. ‘We need to go! Baby ran off again and we need to go after her!’

‘The road you need is that way.’ Ianto said to the men, hoping to divert them. He and Jack began looking and ran straight into Rhys who had his gun raised.

‘Stop!’ Jack yelled. ‘Don’t shoot her! That’s not the safari leopard, it’s Baby, you know the one Gray sent! She’s totally tame. Don’t kill her!’

‘What!’ Rhys yelled. ‘Gwen thought that there was a delay.’

‘Not exactly,’ Jack replied. ‘Gray sent him to me as a joke and I wanted to impress Ianto and ……’ They heard barking and realised that Baby had disappeared again.

‘That’s Captain John,’ Jack said.

‘Look Jack, we’ll deal with the leopard. You go and find the dog, or the other one might eat him and Gwen wouldn’t be pleased. To be honest, it serves you right if you get eaten. Gwen is going to kill the pair of you anyway.’

They heard growling in the bushes. ‘Here, Baby,’ Rhys said to the cat.

‘Sing to her. She likes I can’t give you anything but love, Baby.’ Jack went after Ianto.

The cat came out of the bushes snarling. ‘Here, Baby,’ Rhys said again and he started to sing.

‘She doesn’t look very friendly,’ Tommy said. ‘Perhaps you’d better dart her anyway, rather than just use the leash.’ The cat snarled and before they could respond ran towards them.

‘Run,’ Rhys said as he tried to get the gun loaded. ‘That cat definitely isn’t tame and I’m obviously not Tom bloody Jones!’


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ianto felt like he and Jack had been running about looking for Captain John forever. Now, totally exhausted, he fell over a tree stump and lost his glasses. Jack practically fell on top of him ….. again. Ianto half wondered if he’d planned it.

‘Jack, be careful, my glasses!’ he cried. Jack rummaged in the fallen leaves. ‘Here they are.’ One lens was smashed and the arm bent. 

‘Oh dear, they seem to be broken,’ he said. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘It doesn’t matter. After the things I’ve seen and done today, perhaps it would be better if I didn’t have them.’ Ianto threw them away.

‘Well, you look just as handsome without them,’ Jack said. As he moved his coat caught on the branch. The ripping sound that followed caused Jack to groan in dismay. ‘Oh no, my coat! I love this coat,’ he cried.

‘I love that coat too,’ Ianto agreed, without thinking what he was admitting.

‘Really?’ Jack questioned, his eyes wide with hope. ‘But it’s ruined. I’ll never find another one just like it. It’s genuinely from World War Two. My grandfather wore it. He was Captain Jack Harkness. He was killed in the Battle of Britain and now look at it.’ Ianto put his hands on Jack’s arms. ‘Come on, we’re both very tired and you look done in. Perhaps you should go back. It’s my bone that the dog has.’ Ianto was shocked by the look of hurt that crossed Jack’s face.

‘Are you trying to get rid of me, Ianto? You don’t want me to help you anymore, do you?’

‘That’s not exactly what I mean, Jack but….’ Ianto tried to explain. He didn’t mean to be cruel, it was just that …..

‘Right, okay then, I’ll go. See if I care if you don’t want me. It’s good that I know now. I thought back in the stable that you felt something for me but I won’t push you where you don’t want to go. You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear, not led me on or given me any expectations that you might feel differently. I can see that now.’ He turned and immediately fell flat on his face.

‘Jack, Jack are you alright?’ Ianto bent down to where the other man was lying prostrate among the leaves. He hadn’t moved. Ianto was worried he’d knocked himself out. He touched his back and then stroked his hair. Jack moaned.

‘Yes, I’m alright, Ianto.’ But he didn’t look alright.

‘What is it, Jack? You’re really upset aren’t you? This isn’t one of your games, is it?’

‘I’ve just realised that it’s no use how I feel about you. You just don’t like me; you want me to go away and now I’m thoroughly depressed.’ Jack’s head dropped onto his chest. Ianto put a finger under his chin and lifted it.

‘But I do like you, Jack,’ Ianto said. He suddenly realised that he was holding Jack in his arms and that it felt good. ‘I do like you,’ he insisted.

‘You can’t, Ianto, not after all the horrible things I’ve done to you today. You can’t like me. I don’t mean to do bad things, Ianto. I always have the best of intentions; things just seem to go wrong. Usually I don’t care but now……’ Ianto didn’t understand what made him do it but he kissed Jack, whether it was to shut him up or to prove his feelings to the other man or to himself, he just found his lips needed to be pressed against Jack’s and Jack’s enthusiastic response made Ianto press harder and then push his tongue in when Jack opened his mouth. It was wonderful. Little bolts of electricity seemed to be connecting those lips to other parts of his body, especially to one. Jack broke the moment.

‘Oh Ianto, you do like me,’ he said. 

‘Yes, Jack, for some strange reason I do like you, despite myself. Come on, let’s go and find that damned dog.’ 

Jack grabbed Ianto’s hand. ‘You know, Ianto, I’d do anything for you, anything. Just ask me. I’ll do it.’ Ianto tried to ignore the feelings in his groin.

‘That’s fine, Jack, but you will wait until I tell you before you help me anymore, won’t you?’

A little while later they heard Captain John barking. He was looking up at the roof of a cottage. ‘Look Ianto, its Baby up there on that house,’ Jack said. The leopard was sat on the roof. ‘Come down, Baby,’ but the cat lay on the top of the gable swinging her tail.

‘Sing, Ianto, we need to sing!’ As they sang the words, CJ joined in howling and Baby yowled in response. It was quite a cacophony. The light came on in an upstairs room and Dr Owen Harper looked out. ‘Whoever said the countryside was restful?’ he wondered. He hated it, all that mud and nature. How had Diane persuaded him that this would be good for him? And now there was this racket going on outside his window. Ianto dived around the corner of the cottage after CJ who had jumped out of his arms. ‘I’ll be back,’ he shouted. Jack remained where he stood and looked up. ‘Oh dear,’ he thought when he saw the man looking out of the window. ‘It’s the shrink from the restaurant. But I need to get Baby down from there.’ He continued to sing, ‘I can’t give you anything but love, Baby.’ Owen rubbed his eyes. It was Harkness. Had he lost it completely? He’d heard stories of drugs and drink and sex, all sorts of rumours about the man’s debauched behaviour.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ the doctor shouted.

‘I’m singing,’ Jack said. ‘I’m singing to get her down from there. She likes this song.’

‘Her?’ Owen questioned.

‘Yes, there’s a leopard on your roof,’ Jack explained. Now Owen knew the man was completely mad. ‘I’m not having this conversation now; it’s the middle of the night!’ he said.

‘But there is a leopard on the roof and it’s my responsibility. I have to get it down by singing to it,’ Jack insisted.

‘Look, there’s really nothing on the roof, is there?’ Owen thought that Harkness must be having a psychotic episode. He must be seeing things now. Perhaps it was the DTs or maybe he was hallucinating.

‘Okay,’ Jack said resignedly, ‘there’s nothing on your roof.’ He continued to sing.

Diane came to the window. ‘Poor man, you’d better go down, darling.’ Owen slammed the door when he came out and Baby went over the roof. 

‘Oh no, she’s gone, you’ve frightened her away,’ Jack said. 

Owen looked up and saw nothing - which was exactly what he’d expected to see. He thought he’d humour this man. ‘No, she’s there. Look, her head is just peeking around the chimney breast there.’ Jack looked at him and then at the roof. There was nothing there, and then he realised.

‘Oh right, she was there. You must believe me. I need to get my leopard or my sister is going to kill me and Ianto won’t get his money and he won’t love me and ….’ 

Owen tried to pull Jack into the house. ‘Come with me,’ he said as he pressed the sedative into Jack’s arm. Owen waited as the other man began to wilt and then he helped him into the house. 

Ianto had finally found Captain John and came back to look for Jack. He wondered if he had gone into the house so looked through the window. He could see Jack inside, slumped down on a sofa. He didn’t look right and Ianto was worried. Just as he tried to look closer, PC Davidson and Sgt Swanson turned into the lane and drove by the house. They’d been out looking for the escaped leopard. 

‘Looks like we’ve got a peeping Tom,’ Kathy Swanson said. Andy looked more closely. ‘I think that’s one of the men who stole the Doctor’s car in Brecon but I didn’t see him clearly.’

They got out of the car and proceeded stealthily before grabbing Ianto from behind. The dog jumped out of his arms once more. ‘Oh no, now I’ve got to go after him again!’

‘Oh no you don’t,’ Andy said. ‘You’re under arrest for taking a vehicle without the owner’s permission. Now, where’s your partner in crime?’

‘He appears to be in there,’ Kathy Swanson said. Thirty minutes later Jack and Ianto found themselves in adjoining cells at the police station and Ianto was once again wondering how he had gotten into this situation.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ianto sat in a cell in the police station, his head firmly resting on his hands. ‘How the hell did I end up here?’ he wondered. The answer, as always, seemed to lie with the man in the cell next door. Jack was singing to himself; he did have a lovely voice.

‘Give it a rest, Jack, will you?’ he shouted.

‘Sorry, just bored, but we won’t be here for long,’ he answered. ‘When they find out who we are, they’ll let us out.’

‘When they find out who you are, they’ll probably pad the cell.’ 

Jack thought that might very well be true if they listened to Owen Harper, who thought he’d gone completely insane, imagining a leopard on his roof!

In her office Sergeant Swanson was talking on the phone to Gwen. She was tired; it was now the early hours of the morning and she’d been on duty for some time. ‘Have you got a brother?’ she asked a rather groggy sounding Gwen.

‘Yes, I’ve two of them and neither of them goes around singing under windows. One is in South America and the other is helping hunt for the escaped leopard that got loose from the safari park.’ Swanson looked at the PC and then at Owen Harper, who had just arrived at the station to make his statement.

‘Dr Harper, I need you to be clear. Why exactly did you think that Mr Harkness was dangerous and needed to be taken into custody for his own safety?’

‘Well, that’s simple,’ Owen replied. ‘He was singing under my window because he claimed that there was a leopard on my roof. I ask you. The man has plainly gone insane.’

‘Ah,’ the sergeant said slowly. ‘Look, Mrs Williams, could you come and identify your brother?’

‘There is a leopard on the loose, Sergeant, and I’m not sure that I should be out alone. It’s also after three in the morning. I will try to get there as soon as possible, but it is very inconvenient. This person is probably drunk or something. I will phone my brother and check on his whereabouts.’

‘Andy, get the two of them into an interview room will you,’ Kathy said. ‘And get us all coffees.’

‘You want them in together?’ the PC questioned.

‘I know it’s not standard procedure but nothing about this evening is standard, what with mad men and leopards on the loose.’

‘Are you sure that’s wise?’ Owen asked. ‘Even if there is a big cat loose, I saw nothing on my roof. This Harkness has a history, you know, he could be dangerous. There’s no knowing what he might do.’

‘I’d like you to observe if you will and y tell us what you can about the state of his mind.’

Ten minutes later Jack and Ianto were sitting opposite the Sergeant and her PC. ‘Now then young man,’ he said to Ianto. 

‘Tell us what you were up to out there when we found you looking through the Doctor’s window,’ Swanson continued. Jack interrupted.

‘We were looking for my leopard,’ he insisted.

‘But you don’t have a leopard, do you? The leopard belongs to the safari park.’ She turned back to Ianto. ‘Come on, Mr Bone, is it? Tell me the truth.’

‘I’m trying to,’ he said. ‘If you’ll only listen.’

‘Now, speak respectfully. This is a police station and you’re facing serious charges,’ Andy Davison warned him.

‘Sorry Officer. You see it all began with his sister and the million pounds,’ Ianto tried to explain.

‘A million pounds?’

‘Yes,’ Jack interrupted once again. ‘I wanted to buy a new yacht and a few other things, but Ianto wants to buy a T-Rex.’

‘A T-Rex! Isn’t that a dinosaur? But they’re extinct. Look, this is all rubbish isn’t it?’ Swanson said.

‘No, it isn’t,’ Jack continued. ‘Ianto wants a million to buy a T-Rex and I want to help him and there was this leopard …..’

‘The escaped one ….’ Andy said.

‘No, there are two leopards. Mine is a tame one. My brother sent it to me.’

‘I thought that you had a sister. What’s the leopard got to do with your brother? Does he work at the safari park?’ Andy asked.

All the while Ianto tried to get both of the officers to listen to what he had to say but in the end he gave up and just sighed. There was a knock at the door. ‘Sergeant, we’ve just brought in a Tommy Brockless. He was driving the Doctor’s stolen car. You know the one. He says that Mr Harkness told him to return it to the main street and that he didn’t steal it.’

‘That’s right,’ Jack said. ‘I only borrowed it because Baby had jumped in it and I thought it was safer not to move her in a main street.’

‘Baby?’ Andy asked.

‘Yes, Baby, the leopard I’ve been trying to tell you about. That’s her name.’

‘This Brockless says that he works for Mrs Gwen Williams at the animal rescue place.’

‘That’s Gwen. That’s my sister,’ Jack said. ‘Did Tommy mention the tame leopard? We left him and my brother in law trying to catch it but she must have gotten away from them and got onto Dr Harper’s roof. I’ll vouch for Tommy,’ Jack continued.

‘I’ve had enough of this,’ Swanson declared. ‘Get them back to the cells and we’ll see this Brockless bloke.’

Ten minutes later Gwen stormed into the front entrance accompanied by Rhys. ‘My name is Gwen Williams and I believe that you have my brother and his friend here in custody, although I can’t imagine why anyone would think that it’s illegal to sing in public. Get someone here who knows what’s going on!’ Gwen sat down and dragged Rhys down next to her. Kathy Swanson came to the front desk.

‘At last,’ Gwen said. ‘Now, where is my brother? I know he can be a pain.’ Kathy looked at Rhys. He was still carrying his gun.

‘Sir, why do you have a rifle in your hands?’ she asked.

‘Oh, yes well, I met Gwen on the way. I was out helping to find the escaped leopard. This gun has tranquiliser darts in it. I thought it best not to just leave it in the SUV unattended. I really need to get out there again. It seems that there might be two leopards on the loose. My brother in law says that he has one too that should have been delivered to our rescue centre.’

‘What!’ Gwen exclaimed.

‘Yes, love. Jack had the leopard that Gray sent. He dispatched it to Jack deliberately. He knew that we might not be there and Jack would. It seems that Jack had organised some practical joke in Chile – something to do with an alpaca farm. You know what the pair of them are like.’

‘But with a leopard! I’ll kill the pair of them,’ she said. Kathy looked concerned. Here she had a man with a gun and a woman threatening to kill going on about a leopard like the last pair.

‘I’m not sure that I believe any of this,’ she said. ‘And I don’t know what’s going on here. How can two leopards be on the loose? Andy, lock these two up as well.’

‘But you can’t!’ Gwen protested as she struggled with the PC.

‘Gwen, love, settle down,’ Rhys said calmly. ‘It’s all just a bit of a mix up. I’m sure it’ll get sorted.’ 

Kathy Swanson returned to her desk and slumped down over it. The Doctor was still there. He listened to what had happened. ‘Perhaps there was something in the food they had for dinner and they’re all hallucinating,’ he suggested.

‘Yes, ‘Swanson said, grasping at straws. ‘I suppose that it’s possible. Do we know if any of them had access to drugs? I need to talk to them again. We’ll start with Mr Bone.’

Ianto was brought into the interview room again. ‘Now, tell me again what you were doing at the Doctor’s house. Were you after drugs? Is that what this is all about? And your name isn’t Bone, is it?’

‘How many times do I have to tell you? I was looking for a leopard,’ Ianto said yet again.

‘Look, we’ve had several surgeries broken into recently. Are you part of this gang? Did you rope in Harkness and the rest of his family by drugging them because you were afraid that they’d find out that you weren’t really who you said you were?’

‘This is all nonsense,’ Ianto said. ‘I’m saying nothing more. I’ve nothing to do with drugs. I suggest you speak to Jack.’

‘So, Mr Harkness,’ Swanson continued a little while later, ‘are you going to tell us what’s really going on here? This Mr Bone knows about your drug problems and has blackmailed you in to helping him, hasn’t he?’ Kathy said.

‘Will it get me out of here quicker if I agree with you?’ Jack asked.

‘It might,’ Kathy suggested.

‘Okay, look I’ll show you where the drugs are stashed, but you’ll have to let me go as well or you’ll never find them.’ Jack knew that he had to find Baby to prove his story. ‘They’re stashed in the woodland on my sister’s reserve. You’ll never find them without me.’

‘Okay,’ Swanson said. ‘Andy, you’re with me.’ Once outside Jack saw the doctor’s car. If the wires were still loose he could be out of there in seconds. As he walked past he turned suddenly and pushed the PC into the sergeant. They both fell to the ground and, before they could stop him, he jumped into the car and sped away.

‘We’re in trouble now,’ Swanson said, brushing the dust from her uniform. ‘Put out an APB on that car.’ 

Back in the station they found two women at the front desk.

‘My name is Toshiko Sato; I’m a lawyer. I represent the Harkness Foundation. I believe that you have several members of the family here. I’d like to know what the charges are.’

‘And I want to see my fiancée, Dr Ianto Jones. My name is Lisa Hallet and I work for the National Museum of Wales.’

Owen Harper came into the entrance. He was about to return to his house. ‘Hello Ms Sato,’ he said.

‘You know this person?’ Swanson asked.

‘Yes, she’s a very well-known lawyer. I was the expert witness in a case she did last year,’ Owen explained.

‘I’ve no idea why you should feel that you can question my identity,’ Tosh said angrily. ‘Now, I want to see my clients at once.’

‘Swanson, this may just be a bit of a mix up after all,’ Owen said hesitantly.

‘You’d better sort things or you can expect a pretty big lawsuit heading your way,’ Tosh exclaimed. ‘I don’t appreciate being dragged out of my bed in the middle of the night.’

The PC brought everyone back in. ‘Yes Sergeant, I can confirm that this is Gwen Williams and her husband Rhys and that this is Tommy Brockless.’ She smiled at the young handyman and he blushed. ‘And, if I’m not mistaken, that is Dr Ianto Jones who is trying to get a million pounds to buy a T-Rex skeleton for his museum.’ Andy Davison gulped.

‘But that doesn’t explain why they were going on about a leopard or why he gave us a false name,’ Swanson said. Gwen turned to Ianto. ‘Well, you can forget your million pounds now. You told me that your name was Bone and that you rescued dogs.’

‘Oh Ianto, what have you done?’ Lisa asked.

Rhys looked around. ‘Where’s Jack?’ he said. Swanson looked sheepish. ‘He got away and stole the Doctor’s car again,’ she said.

‘He’s probably gone looking for Baby to prove that we were telling the truth,’ Ianto explained.

‘Baby?’ several voices said. With nothing to lose anymore Ianto added, ‘Yes, the leopard your brother sent to Jack as a joke instead of to you. Baby is really tame. We tried to explain this, but no-one would listen.’ They heard barking from outside and Swanson opened the door to investigate. As she did, a small dog rushed in, followed by a big cat.

‘Bloody hell, it’s a leopard,’ Andy said looking for somewhere to hide. Two men entered the building. Ianto saw that they were the men who’d been driving the truck from which they’d rescued Baby. ‘It’s okay,’ he said, as he went up to the cat. ‘She’s totally tame. Look,’ He petted Baby who rolled on her back and purred. ‘See, I told you.’ 

‘She is very beautiful,’ Gwen said. Ianto looked at the two men. ‘You see, you had the wrong cat so we let her out but we lost her. Everything is alright now.’

‘No, we had the other cat. The one you let out was the one from the park. She’s still out there and she’s got a mean temper.’

‘But Jack’s out there and he’s gone after Baby. Oh God, he could be killed!’ Ianto said. ‘And I never ….’

‘Bloody hell, Baby. Why are you so snappy?’ Jack asked as he dragged the cat by the rope he’d found. He’d had to walk over a mile as she wouldn’t get in the car. ‘Come on, you stupid cat, we’ve got to prove our story and you’re our only proof.’ Jack pushed opened the doors of the police station. Everyone screamed and ran behind the desk, except Ianto. He found he couldn’t leave Jack.

‘What’s the problem?’ Jack asked. ‘I’ve found Baby.’ Ianto was scared but he had to get Jack out of there.

‘No, Jack,’ he said calmly. ‘That’s not Baby. Baby is in the interview room there, all safe and sound.’

Realisation dawned on Jack’s face. ‘Then this is the real leopard, from the safari park?’ Ianto nodded and picked up a chair. Jack let go of the rope and did the same. ‘Jack, get over here,’ he said.

‘Ianto, be careful. Don’t get yourself killed. I love you and I don’t want to lose you.’ 

Ianto looked startled for a moment. ‘Get that door open,’ he said. Jack pulled at the handle and Ianto manoeuvred the leopard into the room. Closing the door, both of them fell against it, breathing heavily.

‘Oh Ianto, you are my hero,’ Jack said, as he kissed him. This time Ianto made no effort to resist, then he just fainted dead away and collapsed to the floor.

Rhys darted both leopards and they were taken to their respective homes. Toshiko sorted out the charges, such as they were, smoothed over Owen Harper and then asked Tommy out on a date. Well, she’d always liked him.

Lisa simply stormed out after Jack had kissed Ianto. Discovering that her fiancée was in love with a man had come as a bit of a shock to her. And to Ianto! Indeed, it was hard to tell which of them was more shocked!

‘I’m glad I found out what sort of a man you are,’ she told him a little while later.

‘You and me both,’ Ianto replied.

‘But that man, he’s dissolute, and he’s never done a day’s work in his life,’ she complained.

‘I know,’ Ianto said. ‘I can’t explain it myself, but I love him and he loves me and we’re going to try to make something of this relationship, even though he drives me totally insane and I might end up wanting to kill him.’

‘He’ll break your heart,’ she said

‘It’s not like that, me and Jack. He needs me,’ Ianto said firmly ‘And for some reason I need him. He’s fun and he makes me laugh. You remember laughter don’t you, Lisa?’ She turned on her heel and walked out.

Two weeks later and Ianto was sat at the top of his brand new T-Rex. He was just about to add the final bone. It had taken a big team of people to put it together so quickly.

‘Ianto, Ianto!’ a deep voice called from below him. ‘I’ve found it! I was sitting in Gwen’s house and Captain John came in with it.’

‘What is it?’ Ianto asked. He still wasn’t quite sure about him and Jack, despite what he’d said to Lisa. While he was still thinking he’d kept Jack at arm’s length.

‘It’s the bone, Ianto! You know for Myfanwy up there. I’ll bring it up and show you.’ Jack began to climb the ladder attached to the scaffold on the other side of the dinosaur.

‘No, Jack, stay down there. You need training in Health and Safety and all that.’ But Jack took no notice. 

At the top of the platform he stopped. ‘Ianto, do you love me?’ he asked. 

The other man wasn’t quite sure how to answer. ‘I, I, oh Jack, what’s with the difficult questions? You know that I have feelings for you. Now, give me that bone.’

‘Not until you admit it, Ianto. You do love me. You’ve kissed me and there was that time in the barn. Erections don’t lie, Ianto.’

‘Jack, please give me the bone and get down. We’ll talk.’ Jack raised an eyebrow and then pouted.

‘All I was doing was trying to keep you near me and I’ve made a mess of things. I hope you and your dinosaur will be very happy together. At least I’ve sorted that,’ Jack said. He looked so sad that Ianto couldn’t help himself.

‘The truth is that I had the best day of my life with you that day,’ he admitted.

‘Did you really, Ianto?’ Jack asked. ‘You’re not just being nice to me because I’ve got your bone.’

‘Yes, I did. I can’t remember having such fun, despite everything, and you made it fun, Jack. You made me laugh again and showed me that there’s a world beyond dinosaurs.’

‘But that must mean that you like me, Ianto,’ Jack said, smiling.

‘Oh I do Jack, but I think it’s more than that.’ He gathered himself and looked into the other man’s eyes. He could drown in those blue eyes and hope never to be rescued. ‘I think I love you.’

‘Really?’ Jack replied excitedly. His face lit up. ‘Because I love you too. Alright, here’s you bone.’ He reached over the dinosaur and lost his balance. Scrambling he tried to clutch at the skeleton. ‘Oh no!’ Ianto cried, but it was too late.

‘Jack, get off of there!’ he shouted, grabbing the other man’s hand, as the skeleton began to collapse below him. Ianto just managed to pull him onto the platform.

The bones of the T-Rex lay on the floor below them. They sat next to each other, looking down at the mess.

‘Oh Ianto, can you ever forgive me?’ Jack asked. Ianto looked down and then at Jack’s hopeful face. ‘Oh my love, you can forgive me,’ he said as he hugged Ianto close. ‘Oh I love you so much.’ Ianto sighed and found that he didn’t care anymore. He hugged Jack closer still.

‘And I love you too, cariad,’ he answered and kissed Jack once again.


End file.
